I feel like abortions should bother me more
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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