just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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