She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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