yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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