is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
