hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
