fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
