Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
