Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
