The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
