You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
