i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
