marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
