READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
