sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
