Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
