He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
