Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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