Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
