Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
