ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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