Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
