a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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