Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize