Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
