Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize