I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
