when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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