At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
