Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize