Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
