ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
