That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
