they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
