thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize