Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
