does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
