"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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