My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
