just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
