Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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