We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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