Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you inspire me to be a worse person
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
