You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
