Pants 0. Shit 1.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
