That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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