His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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