So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am midnight drunk by noon
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
