whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize