Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
