I hate your face
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize