a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
