You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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