physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
