I wish my penis had an off switch
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Girls should come with a carfax report
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
