Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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