So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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