You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
